Love and Theft

These recent Today Show performers aren't doing much for me.

Other than some CMT approval and some occasional mandolin, these guys are on a Fray/Third Eye Blind/Vanessa Carlton tip. I'm all about rock crossover (hello, Darius), but this track sounds like the work of a marketing team, not the type of homegrown crossover that Kenny Chesney works up on anthemic fist-pumpers like "Young."



Point being, fuck this. The breakdown in the middle, the reverse-video plot, I can't hang. There are small Nashville-style details, such as violin plucks and some high-end banjo sparkle, but tracks like "Don't Wake Me" feel like a label's attempt to salvage what would have been a mall-punk band, if focus groups still showed mall-punk bands sold records. I guarantee you, Love and Theft sounded exactly like Simple Plan until 2008.

This is part of the bigger trend of pop and rock stars like Jessica Simpson and Kid Rock looking to sell some albums by country-ing it up -- and in the case of Love and Theft, there's a huge glossy sincerity that can only be the result of a team of producers turning up the schmaltz knob.

Mostly, I can't get behind any band whose career aims are to be as big as Daughtry.

Fuck this.
Love, BFMH.

Friday Throwback

Damn, how didn't we see Reba's acting chops would lead to a middle-of-the-road sitcom later in her career?

Reba brings it big in this Dolly Parton-meets-CSI video for "The Night The Lights Went Out In Georgia." Does anyone else get an Angela Lansbury circa "Murder She Wrote" vibe from the production job on this video?

Big Timing In A Small Town, 1991 - 2009

Peanut butter and jelly.
Baseball and hot dogs.
Cold beers and Friday nights.
BROOKS and motherfucking DUNN.

Sadly, one great American pairing decided to part ways over the last few months, and BFMH can't help but comment on the passing of a great contemporary country duo.

Kix Brooks and Ronnie Dunn could be counted on for badass videos and nostalgia-filled slow jams, often paired with Reba McEntire, as on the showstopper "Cowgirls Don't Cry." Formed in the first contemporary country Golden Era of 1991, the duo managed to snag a CMT Vocal Duo of the Year for 4 years running from 1992 to 2006, except for the fluke year when Montgomery Gentry took it in 2000 -- and let's face it, they're no B&D.

Alongside a giant single-handed contribution to the world of line dancing with "Boot Scootin' Boogie," B&D could be counted on for beer-raisin' jams from the start, like the classic "Hard Working Man" from 1992, complete with slow-mo rodeo shots. (Subquestion: is this early video of a working man trying to hold on to the metaphoric bull analagous to the entire career of working men Brooks and Dunn????)

"I'm all business from 9 til 5"


Brooks & Dunn - Hard Workin' Man (Official Music Video) - For more amazing video clips, click here

Also, let's note Dunn's killer flame-decorated shirt. Eat that shit, Billy Ray Cyrus.


More recently, B&D have broken down the mind of the country man with songs like "Hillbilly Deluxe," which pairs monster trucks and small-town images with a stronger pop flavor; B&D both got more country and more pop at the same time, like some sort of two-headed CMA-devouring American flag-waving no-shit-taking Top 40 leviathan. Brooks lists off the shit he likes over a country-rock-pop pastiche track (note the banjo), and has no problem getting real stoked on name-checking motherfucking Tastee Freeze.

"Put on a smell good, put on some Skynyrd"



The pop sheen on this track is balanced by a higher percentage of monster truck shots and white girl T&A, a move that Brooks and Dunn may not have invented, but certainly perfected.

I really don't know how to end this post other than with one more B&D jam, the aptly titled "You're Gonna Miss Me When I'm Gone," featuring lead vocals from Ronnie Dunn. We certainly will, friends, we certainly will.

IT'S ON MOTHERFUCKERS!!!

Today is the big day.

Some could even call it one of the most daring sociological explorations ever embarked upon.

Kenny Chesney. Sugarland. Miranda Lambert. Lady Antebellum.

The Sun City Carnival Tour hits San Francisco. Today. 5:30. AT&T Park. And I'm fucking THERE.

Full write up with photos to come...

Viral Video Visionaries: Lady Antebellum

Wow okay so I know I've slacked a bit this last week on Blog For My Horses, but gimme a break. I've been saying that the July 4th holiday should be *at least* a week long anyway. So pardon me while I take the time to chant "U.S.A." for a few days longer than others.

Shit though, I'm back, and I'm COUNTING DOWN THE DAYS to the big Sun City Carnival Tour stop in San Francisco featuring Kenny Chesney, Sugarland, Lady Antebellum, and Miranda Lambert. How fucking sick is that line up?? Seriously. Fuck Lollapalooza, fuck the PItchfork Festival, fuck Bonnaroo (although their line ups are usually pretty awesome). This is like the Woodstock motherlode of country tours.

Obviously I'm excited for Chesney. Who wouldn't be? I've already explored Sugarland a bit here on BFMH, but this week I wanted to bring my attention to another artist on the up: Lady Antebellum.

And what do you know what? Once again that the Washington Post's anti-country, beyond offensive stereotype of country music fans in their recent article to be 100% off base. Why don't you click around the web a little bit more next time, Washington Post? Maybe you would have noticed that Lady Antebellum is already on EPISODE #64 of their virally awesome Webisode Wednesday series!

And as you can see, shit gets NUTS when Lady Antebellum is backstage at the Sun City Carnival Tour when it hits Philadelphia:

Haha, nice one guys. There's just FRUIT in the juicer, hmm? Yea right. I can smell the moonshine from here, ya crazy drunks!

Another favorite episode of mine is EPISODE #62, as it demonstrates just how fucking hardcore country fans can get for their favorite bands:

AWESOME. Nothing really shows how much you love your favorite band like a fake tattoo with a sharpie. You can bet I'll be rolling *at least* this deep when I hit the Sun City Carnival Tour on Saturday.

Check out the smooth video for "Run To You":


And let's not forget... stealing the show at 2009 CMT Music Awards:


In all seriousness though... why isn't Lady Antebellum bigger? Rascal Flatts, I think you've just met your metrosexual mainstream country nemesis. Best put a little more gel in that hair, and make that eyeliner just a little bit thicker.

Who Said Country Isn't Cool?

Thank you, Leader Post. It's good to know someone else out there agrees with what we've been trying to tell people for awhile now. Check out the full article right here. From "camping in aging trailers with broken windows" to sleeping "in the truck" as a couple of young attendees did at the Craven County Jamboree featuring Taylor Swift, George Strait, Clint Black, and more--nothing's gonna keep our people down when we're craving some down home, deep friend country ass music.

From the Vault: 7.5/10 review of Chesney's Greatest Hits (aka Fuck you for being so good and not even knowing it.)

It can be said that the origins of Blog for My Horses can be found in a facebook application called Imthemusic, and to celebrate the 4th of July, I thought I'd resuscitate my trailblazing review of Kenny Chesney's 'Greatest Hits' album on BNA Records where it could live on in style--and where people might actually see it and read it. My favorable reviews of contemporary country classics in a forum where most people would either a) give amazing reviews to predictable modern music canon (e.g. Radiohead, Notorious B.I.G., etc.), or b) continue to stroke the dick of recent Pitchfork jizzum fests (e.g. Fleet Foxes, Health, etc.), came across as both controversial and revolutionary. This was before I dawned the hat of my alias, Kevin Costner as Wyatt Earp, as well. Better yet, this review was written just about a year ago to the day.

There's only a small handful of these classic reviews from said website, and I'll post the others here at some point. Until then, sit back, relax, and light some crazy shit on fire and, while I'm currently in the country mecca of Fresno CA, turn up 95.7 The Wolf if you're in the bay area this weekend and pretend we're drinkin' some Jim Beam together.

Full review text:
"Jul 2, 2008 - It pains me that this score can't be higher. But you know what? That's Kenny's own fucking fault. Yes, "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy" is on here and the title alone is one of the best song titles ever--let alone the lyrics (exerpt: "Plowing these fields in the hot summer sun/Over by the gate lordy here she comes/With a basket full of chicken and a big cold jug... of sweet tea"). But apparently Kenny thinks that "Keg In the Closet" and "No Shoes, No Shirt, No Problems" aren't good enough for inclusion on his so-called 'Greatest Hits' compilation.

So you know what Kenny? Fuck you. Fuck you for being so good and not even knowing it. For that, you ain't crackin no 8.0 in *this* trailer park."

Special 4th of July Bonus--the "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy" video !!


ps--note the 30 point seal of approval from Imthemusic readers of said review

Country Music shits on July 4th

Screw you 4th of July. Eat shit American Independence Day.

It's clear what the real celebration's gonna be on Saturday. National Country Music Day! So, make the choice to celebrate the *right* holiday you guys. I can't think of any celebration that could be more conceptually or symbolically patriotic than partying for National Country Day on July 4th. Whoo!

Forbes Releases Top Country Earners List; Fleet Foxes Have Eyes On the Prize

Happy Monday, BFMH readers! The July 4th holiday is just a few days away, so best stock up on your Coors Light and Oscar Meyer weenies for the big day, and get ready to wave that flag loud & proud.

Quick thought for today--If there was ever a case for today's more "rootsy" indie-rock type artists to consider going country, Forbes just made that agrument even stronger. Check out the Forbes Top 10 list of Top-Earning Musicians here.***



That's right. Our boys Kenny Chesney, Rascal Flatts, and Toby Keith are our lone cultural warriors amongst the rest of the dreck in the Top 10. Forbes also released the list for the Top-Earning Country Stars as well, which you can check out here.

Here's the top 5:

Chesney (where he rightfully belongs):


Rascal Flatts (our favorite neo-country metrosexuals holding it down):


Toby Keith (more american than you):


Taylor Swift (Top 5 already?? interesting, Forbes. Very interesting.):


Tie for 5th w/ Brooks & Dunn & Tim McGraw (Taylor Swift more popular than these O.G.s? Come on.):




***Fleet Foxes, I'm looking at you. Forget Sub Pop, Capitol Nashville can get you PAID.

Country music world responds to the death of Michael Jackson

Okay, not really.

But this is as close as I could get to someone out there puttin' some Miracle Whip on an MJ sandwich for now. Enjoy.

Michael Jackson's "Beat It" Countryfied:

Breakdancing? Metallica? Director Mike Salomon shatters cultural barriers (vis-à-vis Dierks Bentley, of course)

First off, I'd like to give a big and much overdue shout out to my man Dierks Bentley for walking home with the much deserved award for "CMT Performance of the Year." Dude has been wrecking some shit for a minute now, and as I've said before here, if there was an award for 'Getting the Most Pussy' in country music, Dierks would have taken that shit home too.

I thought I'd celebrate Dierks' stellar victory last week with another post, this time on his latest single "Sideways." As you probably expect from something on the 'Feel That Fire' full length, shit is some straight MURDER.

"Sideways" video directed by Michael Salomon :


Basically in the song, Dierks (whose likeness is grossly misrepresented by some chump in the video, and whose inadequacies are magnified further by Dierks completely blowing the roof off the place on stage) steps to some chick in a bar and because he's unable to hear her name cause of the sweet ass music coming from the rad band on stage, he tries to step up his game further, saying that he wants to "get a little sideways" with her. HELL YEA. I can tell you first hand that next time you're out at a bar, DEFINITELY try that line out on somebody. Pretty much guaranteed you'll "gotta make em wanna come back for more" every time.

But instead of focusing on how Dierks is indeed all about getting up in some pussy (even though he clearly is, which is why i think he's rad, personally), I want to focus on the incredible and excellently conceived video directed by Michael Salomon. If you're not familiar with Salomon, I'll happily school you a bit. Not only did he direct the super dark video for "One" by Metallica, but yes he is THE Michael Salomon that directed the film that said blog is named after, 2008's underrated masterpiece 'Beer For My Horses' written by and starring both Toby Keith and comedy heavyweight Rodney Carrington, and also featuring cultural legend Ted Nugent.

Video for Metallica "One" (Directed by Michael Salomon):
Metallica One Original Video


Scene from "Beer for My Horses" (Directed by Michael Salomon):


Stellar work across the board, no doubt. Back to the video for "Sideways" though. What is most impressive about this video aside from the fact that the club is packed with hot ass women of all colors, but that the only dudes in the joint are Dierks and the dudes in Dierks' band, the guy playing Dierks' likeness, the club bouncer... and yes, the breakdancers!! Only in my wildest dreams would I ever see some serious pop & locking going down while some country was bumpin' on the speakers. And yes, Salomon plays his cards right and makes sure that these quick glimpses of no-holds-barred urban expression are set within the confines of a line dance and other dancefloor acrobatics. In turn, he's making these whiteys get down with some hip hop shit without they really even knowing it. MIKE SALOMON YOU SUBVERSIVE MOTHERFUCKER!

Of course though, while Dierks Bentley and Mike Salomon continue to push the boundaries with their continued blurring of cultural lines... alas, they weren't the first. That honor goes to "one of the rising stars of country music," Bubba James Hudson. Hip hop, funk, cajun, "country/rap", and a "hot new" techno version of a track... all for line dancing specifically??? Sign me up.

Bubba James Hudson - Country Rap Attack (Definitely Not Directed by Michael Salomon)

DOUBLE Friday Throwback

Due to last week's lack of throwbackage, let's do a double dose of George muthafuckin' Strait for this week's throwback.

First up, "How About Them Cowgirls", complete with excellent fan video:



The second Strait-up dose of country is the official video for "Check Yes Or No", which is so heartwarming it almost hurts. I check yes.

George Strait   More CMT Music   More CMT Music Videos

BFMH

The Rednex Phenomenon & Big Budget Video Awesomeness

So I was getting my records together for a party I was spinning at last weekend, and decided it's finally time to at least *put* this shit in my record bag... just in case i really wanted to set these mother fuckers off on the dance floor... the 12" to one of the most experimental fusion of music genres in history, and one of the biggest crossover smashes of all time: "Cotton Eye Joe" by Rednex.

Actual 12" artwork, original issue:


OG video from 1995*:

Rednex - Cotton Eyed Joe
by valentin73

I'd personally like to go on the record right now and say THANK YOU SWEEDEN for both a) birthing the geniuses who thought up Rednex: Janne Ericsson, Orjan Oberg, and Pat Reiniz and b) cultivating the fine, fine narcotic they all must've been partaking in when coming up with this shit. I mean, country + dancey electronica?? Who could possibly NOT like that combo? Who needs that pussy Jens Lekman when you have something much, much cooler from the same homeland?

Strange though. When I went to pull the video for "Cotton Eye Joe" from Youtube, I noticed something very odd. Aside from a really shitty dub of the video, I found that the video is NOWHERE to be found. Instead, however, there's this:


FUCKING AWESOME. Just when I thought that nothing could top the old school original, I discover that Rednex indeed did that in 2002. (Shit... what the hell was I doing in 2002? How did I miss that? Goddamnit.) As you can tell, they discovered how to improve on perfection. The fiddle has more bite, and the beats are now thick enough that even dj legend Steve Aoki's serato sets would be taken to the next level. In addition, and something that I personally love about country music, is that the budget for the video was obviously upped a shitload. I think that's where Rednex really demonstrates that it is truly on some real country shit---totally overproduced & slick videos (in an awesome way, of course), one of *the* benchmarks of the genre.

It didn't stop there though. Finding the 2002 version of "Cotton Eye Joe" set me on an amazing journey to TONS of other rad Rednex videos that, like much of the other incredible videos that have been posted here, were obviously quite expensive to make:

"Pop In An Oak"


"The Way I Mate"


"Wild and Free"


And the budget for each one of these is clearly through the roof and like I said, these are only a few examples. There are a ton of impressively high budget videos for Rednex floating around out there, really slapping around the concept of the cheaply made, viral indie rock video of today. So lame!

All this talk of big budget video has got me pretty excited though, so much in fact that I want to post one of the most awesome, underrated videos in history---"Congo" by a post-Peter, post-Phil era Genesis. Sure it's not country, but if Ray Wilson knew what was good for him, he'd grab the director of this video and go country. Check the video out though---not only does it look like the film 'Waterworld,' it probably cost even more to make. Brilliant!

"Congo":

CMT Awards, initial thoughts

- Big star of the night, thus far: Fred Schneider's man-camel toe during the B-52's duet with Sugarland on "Love Shack." Goes to show, a country crowd will go apeshit during a song sung by an aging gay dude, if they know all the words to the song.

- Alan Jackson's blouse. He's not aging as much as slowly becoming genderless.

- Mayonnaise commercials: never seen them before. Thanks, CMT!

- Taylor Swift kiiiinda blew "Love Story" live, although kudos to the high school movie-style transformation out of the hipster glasses.

- Best Group Video: Zac Brown Band, robbed again! Fuck Rascal Flatts, for real.

- Bill O'Reilly: you were in a movie?

- T-Pain and Toby Keith together onstage: can we get an autotuned rendition of "Talk About Me"????

- Trace Adkins: why the fuck AREN'T you singing 'Honkytonk Badonkadonk'? He always busts the slow jams when he thinks he needs to play it straight. I say keep it weird, Trace. Keep it real weird.

- Brad Paisley's taking the quote of the night -- "Guitar Hero never got anyone a date!"

And motherfucker has a Twitter.

Remember our response to the Washington Post?

Well here's another reminder that it's not just Stephen Colbert fans creating viral content online:



Brad fuckin Paisley, hosting a green screen video contest. Alongside his insightful video for "Online", Paisley moves to the front of the pack of the internet-savvy country stars. There are some really weird replies to the video challenge, and clearly, Brad has invigorated the country fans who *get* the internet, as the Post might say.

So, I'm appointing him the Blog For My Horses Contemporary Country Ambassador to The Internet. Just because country music might just be the last genre of music to sell CDs, have a popular broadcast awards show, and actually have hits on the radio, doesn't mean that it's not an internet-friendly genre, and Mr. Paisley is the man to prove it.

Don't fuck it up, Brad! And good luck tonight at the CMTs. Twitter that shit, if you can.

tomorrow night

Live-blogging the CMTs.

Stay tuned.

BFMH.

Save A Horse...

As I write BFMH and venture deep into the psyche of contemporary country, I'm finding more sides of the country coin. This entry...is about the country sex jam.

There are some deep unrequited love songs in country, the very frame of the genre. From George Strait to Johnny Cash, the love song runs deep in the blood of the country community. But the sex jam, that's a little more difficult to find. The only older proper *bedroom jam* I can find is Jimmy Buffett's "Why Don't We Get Drunk (And Screw)", which is thoroughly excellent, but a rare sex jam in a field of love songs.

So thanks to Big and Rich, who bring the fuck jam with "Save A Horse (Ride A Cowboy)" -- thanks to yallwire.com, another fierce retort to the Washington Post's critique of internet-loving country fans*.



Big and Rich really tap into the R&B sex jam on "Save A Horse," name-dropping Escalades and "Bling-blinging", although I'm not quite sure they know what that means, since the video makes it look like they think it means "a weird parade on a bridge". What I really love, lyrically, about this song is the fact that they're not about cherishing small-town values, but instead bringing the small-town dickswinging to the city, or as Big and Rich put it, the citayyyyyyyyy. In the country tradition, a country sex jam *should* be about the things the singer likes about doin' it, but instead asserts that any city girl can't resist a country boy, especially when he's introducing her to his "bird dog" and singing her Willie Nelson.

My point is, I say thumbs up to referring to your dick as your bird dog.



* Although I will note, Brad Paisley needs to update his effin' twitter.

Its almost here!!! CMT Music Awards preview part # 1

Shit ya'll. It kinda snuck up on us, but the biggest country event of the year is upon us. The CMT Music Awards are fucking tomorrow! Can't believe I didn't know that until yesterday and I'm freaking out a bit as I'm feeling a bit out of the loop as to what's hot now in country. (I'm still playing catch up, I'm almost up to 2008.) Figured this is a good chance to catch up on the nominees and find out what the hell is going on. I must say though, not too plussed on the night's host, Bill Engvall. Was Foxworthy or Larry the Cable guy not available? I think it would be sweet if Toby Keith hosted it, but he's always nominated so I understand the conflict of interests.

Your host, Bill Engvall

Ok. I'm sorta psyched on the host, I spoke too soon before. Nascar jokes, poop jokes, Walmart jokes, Skymall jokes. I'm not above any of this.

First off, I think Tyler B. would be happy to know that "Chicken Fried" was nominated for "group video" of the year. I'm pulling for it, but the alarmingly metrosexual Rascal Flatts is up for two nommies as well out of the 4 videos up for the award. Seems like their video for "Everyday" is the one to beat with nominations in multiple categories.

Rascal Flatts More CMT Music More CMT Music Videos

So the chorus for this one is "everyday you save my life", and true to country form there's a scene with an EMT, white people adopting a chinese boy, pulling a guy out of the way of a bus. Everytime someone's life is literally saved, one of the bros in the band creepily walks by the scene. Not sure I'm getting the symbolism. Next!

Trace Adkins is up for a few awards too. Embracing a softer side lately, this is a song about the kids growing up too fast.

Trace Adkins More CMT Music More CMT Music Videos

Not nearly as awesome as his song "Marry For Money" which is way funnier, tastefully stealing a page from the Toby Keith playbook. Like Rascall Flatts "Everyday" this video is kind of a bummer too. Maybe even more so that they're playing down Trace's 3 foot long ponytail in this vid...next.

Phew. I can always count on Brad Paisley to bring the energy level up. This vid is solid. "Waitin' On A Woman" is a just a song/video about just that. I'm so sick of women taking their sweetass time, making me late and waiting and shit.

Brad Paisley More CMT Music More CMT Music Videos

Brad gets to show off his acting chops again, sitting on a bench with an old dude (Matlock?). Talking about how in the end women are worth waiting for. Christ. Women, god bless them.

Tomorrow the preview continues.

You guys obviously don't read Blog For My Horses.

Thanks for misunderstanding the movement, liberal media. (Link to full article)


"With the Internet becoming an increasingly dominant way for fans to discover and purchase music, a survey of 7,500 people by the country music industry's trade organization revealed a sobering fact: Only 50 percent of core country fans have Internet access at home."

Oh really, Washington Post? What am I using right now, a fucking notepad?? Way to not include anyone myself, TTX, or Tyler knows in your so-called "country music industry's trade organization" survey.

""With Trace, we have to ask him to do it, we have to ask Darius [Rucker] to do it and they kind of grumble," Dungan says. "But for Lady Antebellum or Eric Church or Luke Bryan, this is what their generation does.""

Sound like someone finally gets it. Dungan, I'll go on the record right now and say that if ANY of these people want to have an "online interview" with a "hip blogger," just have them "shoot me an email."

Def Leppard pours some sugar on white people at CMT awards

Late breaking news---Def Leppard to perform live at the CMT awards on Tuesday. WOW.


Damn, just when I thought the line up couldn't get any better.

So this begs the question... why would Def Leppard do this? Why go country? I think the greater question though is, why WOULDN'T they? White people are pretty much listening to anything but rock anymore these days, so why *not* go for the one remaining musical mainline into the hearts and minds of the non-rhythm craving whiteys everywhere. Stroke of genius really.

To celebrate this occasion, I'm offering up a pair of videos to celebrate Def Leppard's excellent decision making.

First up, some class old school Leppard from their more "rebellious" days:

Def Leppard - Pour Some Sugar on Me
by hushhush112

And next up, some amazing new school Leppard (featuring Tim McGraw no less) that you may or may not have known existed:

Def Leppard - Nine Lives
by -slang-

Tim McGraw kinda steals the spotlight a bit, but you know what? The one armed Leppard drummer still holds it down. There. I know you were thinking it, so I had to say it.

Look at me, I'm sexy as the Devil when I mow the lawn.

Until this post, BFMH has made a huge mistake in not covering the female voices of contemporary country. Consider it rectified.



I think this video by SHEdaisy is a great place to start, because it does bring up some issues with female voices in contemporary country. In country music, stretching back to the Patsy Cline/Loretta Lynn era, female voices tended to be marginalized by the country establishment, care of stronghanded (male) managers and other male artists.

So yes, it's 2009, but the tongue-in-cheek vibe of this song has a lot to say about female artists and their depiction of women in country music. For example, if this were a Toby Keith song, some of these lyrics (and certainly the video) would be really sexist and generally offensive. The offensiveness of the SHEdaisy version is debatable, but it at least adds a layer of irony to the proceedings that comes from the fact that the song was written and performed by women.

That said, "God Bless The American Housewife" is a high-quality example of contemporary country, with ridiculous lyrics that list off things that are great about housewives and an awesomely literal video.

Tomorrow's post will also be female-focused: Faith Hill vs. Shania Twain -- the contemporary country superstar showdown!!

Doing It Right

Props to Tyler for his enlightening, yet controversial assessment of Asher Roth (see below). While its clear that bro might not have a future in the rap game, he absolutely could have a promising career in country if he plays his cards right.

At first I was on the fence on the assertion that "I Love College" is indeed a country song in disguise. While the lyrical content is quite identical to say Chesney's CLASSIC ode to college bangers "Keg In The Closet", "I Love College" deviates from the familiar country formula simply with the narrative being in the present-tense instead in the past-tense. Wasn't sure how to feel about that for a minute but fuck it, modern country is all about pushing the conceptual envelope and doing away with formulas. I'm in. 'As is', I can't take Roth seriously as a respectable country artist yet but that doesn't mean that he couldn't be on the right path if he takes some advice and studies the masters.

He doesn't even have change his sound much to make that crossover, if he can just change his attitude and outfit. One problem I can see down the road for him is that while he writes about white trash subject matter, he's not at all willing to embrace his white trash roots, like he's not proud of it at all. If he doesn't embrace the hick inside, he'll a have trouble connecting to a country audience. Some people can pull this off well though even if their music sounds more hip-hop than country. Here are two sonically un-country hits which topped the country charts from a couple proud redneck badasses Asher should start considering imitating if he wants to make music a career.

Trace Adkins - Honky Tonk Badonkadonk
Ok, this guy fucking pwns. I don't know how "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk" manages to come across as authentic country but it does. Considering all the electronica breakbeats and the really trancey synthline in the chorus, its a really impressive thing to pull off. I'll credit Trace's gruff, no-BS attitude as what makes this country, because really..parts of this sound like C&C Music Factory.

Trace Adkins More CMT Music More CMT Music Videos

Kid Rock - All Summer Long
Rapper turned rock star turned mega-country star. Follow his career path. He knows what he's doing and he's doing it right. (This video is sweet, two words comes to mind : PONTOON FUCK)

Kid Rock All Summer Long Music Video
Uploaded by ericsmith92. - See the latest featured music videos.

Country slap bass hero: Mike Huckabee

Was watching the news just now and realizing that after all this stuff about Obama making progress in the middle east, Sotomayor being a reverse racist, etc., I kinda was just starting to miss the cast of characters from last year's Republican primary battle. Most notably, down home country hero, slap bass extraordinaire... Mike Huckabee.



Interviewer: "What do you think about about a politician that is up on stage playing in a rock band?"
High school chick: "Um... Definitely something that I haven't seen before."
High school jock: "Uh... you know, I just like music so, I'll probably vote for him just cause he's gonna be singing."

AMEN brother & sister. That is what I'm talking about. If the movement only had as much passion as you guys clearly did last year, or as much brute force as Mike does when he's slapping the shit out of that bass, we probably wouldn't be wasting our time on such trivial commie bullshit like pushing to get health care for everyone or better yet, making middle east peace progress. I know Mike wouldn't stand for any of that, nor would this high school auditorium he ROCKED back in December of 2007 either.

Think that's good? Just check out how versatile Mike can get on that mean ole bass guitar--

w/ Mama Kicks, which apparently features a dude who used to be in Boston:


Smurf bass:


Haha, look at this lil' fucker. Tryin to steal the show.


Making the dance floor go CRAZY, featuring some modern, experimental camera trickery:


Wait, holy shit. He played with a ska band too! Sweet.

Asher Roth blows.

I'm sure you've heard 'I Love College' at this point. The ubiquitous frat-boy anthem has been all over radio and MTV, care of pigment-free rapper Asher Roth and Warner Music Group (so groundbreaking!). I've been on rants about how much ass this song has sucked since day one, with the faux-Kanyeisms in the verse and the lazily performed chorus -- I can't help but call bullshit.



But something was nagging me on this one. Maybe it was the lyrics, which were a little too reminiscent of my own time in school, or maybe it was the suspicion that I was hating merely because it's some overprivileged whitey rapping. Then I realized what it was, why I couldn't 100% dismiss this dude --

This song is an amazing country song.

Look at the lyrics, and the chorus! This track is right up the alley of "Chicken Fried" or "I Love This Bar", complete with verses listing stuff that Mr. Roth likes, the classic contemporary country move on display in yesterday's BFMH post. The chorus even has the laid-back tinge of tracks from Brad Paisley or even Garth Brooks, except delivered in a focus group-tried deadpan engineered to appeal to the ringtone set, not the Wrangler crowd. Still, lyrics like "hold the beer bong / nothing wrong with a little fun / even if we did get a little too gone," Roth can't fool me with his shitty marketing plan -- he wrote a country drinkin' song.

If you amp up the twang on the song, you kind of have a contemporary country killer, as evidenced by Youtube fan William King...



I'm not saying it's country because he's a white dude rapping, I'm saying that if you write a country song and dress it up as hip hop, it'll be as shitty as Asher Roth. So, Mr. Roth, once you put down the mic and pick up a cowboy hat, we can be cool.

Til then, Asher Roth fucking blows.

Zac Brown Band - robbed at the CMTs

For the life of me, I have no idea why the Zac Brown band weren't voted best new group at the CMTs this year, if only on the strength of their single "Chicken Fried."



The best thing about this song is how it continues the mold of one of today's most popular country song forms: it's pretty much just a list of shit the singer likes. If a country singer is struggling, you can pretty much guarantee he can draw lyrics looking at some stuff that he finds enjoyable.

Unlike rap, which will add a boast in there, or rock, which is usually about struggle or dissatisfaction, country singers are content to straight up lay out stuff they like. In "Chicken Fried," Zac Brown talks about beer, sweet tea, sunrises, trees in Georgia, and fitted pants. Damn right, fitted pants.

It's a format that's pretty much everywhere once you notice it: Craig Morgan's "That's What I Love About Sunday" and Toby Keith's "I Love This Bar", for example.

That said, Zac Brown did it best, including an amazing post-9/11 America-loving bridge that breaks it down emotionally before launching back into the chorus. He really takes it to the next level when he relates American struggles abroad as protection of "a little bit o' chicken fried". I couldn't agree more.

Block Party w/ Rascal Flatts & Hershey's? HOLY SHIT

HOLY SHIT.



Tyler. TTX. You best have entered this shit by the time you're done reading this. I just did.

Sugarland = Reba + Heart + Contemp. Christian = BADASS

In preparation for one of the most anticipated concerts of 2009 (Kenny Chesney's Sun City Carnival, of course), I thought I'd show some respect to the openers that Chesney handpicked to be apart of said festivities. First up, Atlanta's Sugarland. I've been spending a good amount of time with the Sugarland discography recently and I gotta say, shit is fucking GOOD. Think like... Reba McEntire meets Heart meets like, contemporary Christian. Can't really think of a more successful recipe for success for that. Their bios everywhere say Suglarland is three people but really, almost all the pictures I've seen of them have the main chick as well the country guitar dude who clearly is *not* calling the shots in the band (i.e. the blond chick is always the one front & center of the videos, rolling around in mysterious bodies of water, walking on cars, etc.).

"Something More" demonstrates the Reba + Heart + Contemporary Christian combo best:


"Already Gone" is something i've heard on The Wolf a good deal and am stoked that it's fucking Sugarland. An instant panty wetter:


Last but certainly not least, I think the video for "All I Want To Do" best demonstrates why these dudes are homies with the Chesney crew. I can picture them all kicking it on the beach together & shit:


Sun City Carnival just got a little bit sweeter. Thanks Sugarland!

Friday throwbacks.

So for the first week of BFMH, we're introducing a feature that you'll see every Friday as you kick off the weekend with some ice-cold American beers, barbeques and skin-tight Wrangler jeans: the Friday throwback.

This blog is about the fresh country cuts, but to kick your weekend off right, we want to drop some 80's and 90's contemporary country jams. These are the big guns of country radio right here, killin' it with the sounds that moved country and western music into the arena-sized country we know and love here on BFMH.

It's only fair that we kick this feature off with Mr. Alan Jackson's "Chatahoochee", because I think this first week of BFMH also taught us a lot about living and a little 'bout love. Also, dude knows how to rock a seriously bitchin' floatation vest! And really, Kenny Chesney's island vibes owe a lot to Jackson's lake-borne easy-going vibe and torn jeans.

These are the mulleted and mustachioed heroes of contemporary country music, and each week, we'll salute them.

Chesney's trailer pulling into San Francisco in July!

FUCK YES!!!!!! Section 325, Seats 1, 2, & 3. TTX and yours truly & my lady will be all up in that bitch, repping BFMH hardcore. Come say what up.



Shit is going to be on some next, NEXT level shit. Sugarland supporting (really good), as well as Miranda Lambert, Montgomery Gentry and Lady Antebellum. Who are these people??? And more importantly, why isn't Dierks on the bill??

The unholy union of rap and country, gone awesomely right.

One of 2008's most surprising breakout acts was the "hick-hop" innovator Cowboy Troy, whose rap-meets-country stylings blew away the country world, with a self-proclaimed "combination of intense rap lyrics, shredding guitar licks, and fiddle, banjo, and steel guitar." Well, consider me sold.

Country Troy has the market cornered for Lynyrd Skynrd-meets-Tone Löc jams, and his chorus about 'playing chicken with the train' sounds edgy while still remaining safely in the canon of things that country stars sing about, which include:

- Why the singer is badass
- Being lonely
- Why things are better in America/back in the day/in a small town/at a bar
- Drinking
- Women
- Picking fishing over women*

Troy excels in category one of country lyrics, but could stand to bring more nostalgia into the picture -- where are the lyrics about drinking in a small town? That said, Cowboy Troy still breaks it down pretty raw, and gets across a hip hop edge that makes "I Play Chicken With The Train" both really weird and extremely awesome. I'd wear some Wranglers and drink some Coors to this one.



That said, Cowboy Troy is really not bringing a serious urban edge to country music. That challenge was already fulfilled by Toby Keith himself back in 2001 with "I Wanna Talk About Me." Now THIS is country-rap at its best, complete with really insightful lyrics about relating to women and scenes with Toby taking on the role of the cop AND the streetwise pimp - dude is breaking down gender and class barriers while reaching out to an urban audience saying "hey, country GETS YOU". It's grittier than Cowboy Troy, and definitely more connected to the hip hop audience.



So do your homework, Cowboy Troy, and MAYBE you can reach the heights of hick-hop legends like Mr. Keith.


* Okay, that might just be Brad Paisley's "I'm Gonna Miss Her", but it really deserves it's own category.

ED. NOTE: Some of you might try and debate about Kid Rock's standing in the hick-hop canon. I ask that you read about Mr. Rock blowing it at Stagecoach 2009 here, and see why I ignored him. Is it sad that he'll live his life as the dude who never again hit the heights of 'Bawitdaba'?

Dierks Bentley Clearly Gets Lots of Pussy

I'll be the first admit that I need to spend some more quality time with the earlier part of Dierks Bentley's discography, but I've been saying that his new joint "Feel That Fire" is one of the best singles of the year. To the point where I play it excessively in the office, likely pissing off or confusing others with the quantity of plays (although I did notice another person start to mouth the chrous. How could you not? Shit is fucking anthemic.)

So yea, "Feel That Fire." If you examine the lyrics here, Dierks is being both cryptic and borderline experimental. At least, I'm sure the typical country audience probably chats over hot dogs and ice cold Coors light about what he could be mean when he says "She needs to feel that fire/The one that let's her know for sure/She's everything I want and more." He's an attractive guy, and Captiol Nashville has obviously touched his image up a bit so he can appeal not just to the loyal country base, but to the VH1 adult rock crowd as well. While some might say Dierks looks like a pussy, I'd argue that Dierks actually GETS a lot of pussy.


(Official video for "Feel That Fire" by Dierks Bentley)

Case in point, "Fire" here in this song is clearly referring to his dick. To take things further, it's about how whoever this girl is in this song needs to feel his dick all up in her shit 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. "She wants to make love on a train/Some days she only wants a break/Hey but she wants what she wants/But man I know, I know, I know." Damn right, Dierks. We know you know.

"She wants her nails painted black/She wants the toy in the Crackerjack/She wants to ride the bull at the rodeo... But she needs to feel that fire..." Hmm okay so yea it almost sounds like he's talking about a 13 year old goth chick with some of that, but still, this song is 3 minutes and 26 seconds about how this chick needs to feel his fire. Kudos to him for singing about his dick with some class. Beyond that, I'm guessing "Feeeeeeel that Diiiiiiiiiick" just didn't quite sound as good in the studio.

Oh, and I also found this. You can follow along to the lyrics for the song with this fun video. I like that someone felt it was necessary to make this happen. Really helpful.

Fan Video find # 1

Sometimes big budgets aren't necessary. If you have google images, some family photos, access to sweet pages like freefoto.com, and some sort of rudimentary powerpoint software and you can pull off a really crazy video if you stick to the formula of matching blunt imagery with the lyrics. I'm pretty sure this song was a huge hit so I was surprised I couldn't find a high-budget production on youtube for George Strait's reflective ballad about having a baby "I Saw God Today". Until I find it, I'm going to believe that this modestly-budgeted video is the official one. Man, I hope so. There are over 100,000 views on this, so maybe.

This video might be kind of gross to you if you don't like babies, super pregnant people, and inspirational messages (Peep the sick-ass Helen Keller quote). There are a couple moments where things get a little graphic, these two stills are horrifying and might be permanently ingrained in my head.

AHHHHH!!! What the fuck? Not cool.


Kudos to Strait for consulting on this video's production/direction and while I like this song, he can't compete with the real deal like Toby Keith, Chesney, Garth, or even Brad Paisley. Yet I read all this talk about him being the "King of Country"? Pffft. My ass.

Dude is into ex-patriate WWI literature, I guess.

I'm dropping an exception to the rule posted in yesterday's Rodney Adkins post: sometimes contemporary country moves out of the generally awesome literal lyric to attempt experimental poetry, and sometimes, the results are exceptional.

Most of the time "I" in a contry song will refer directly to the singer, or a more kick-ass version of the singer: like Garth Brooks, where he's always the sad-sexy cowboy with a heart of gold and a woman waiting somewhere for him at home. That's some poignant shit, Garth!

In his hit song 'Alcohol', Brad Paisley sings AS alcohol, going from metaphor to some real anthropomorphic shit, breaking down the notable actions of alcohol, which include:

- Making white people dance
- Getting people pregnant
- Speeches by the best man at a wedding
- Making Hemingway write the way he did

Indeed, in the second verse, Paisley (as alcohol) credits himself for making 'Hemingway write the way he did', hitting the cross-section of fans who watch Nascar and ponder the narrator's anguish in 'The Sun Also Rises'. Truly cutting, Mr. Paisley. I'm really hoping he takes on other high modernists, like the way overrated Ezra Pound. Fingers crossed.

Also: note that the video again loves breaking this shit down lyrically -- dude with lampshade, check. Pregnant lady, check. Thanks for making this one easy on us, Brad! Embedding disabled, click the screenshot to head to the link.



also -- Brad is actually a pretty stellar Merle Haggard-style guitar player, if you listen between the sweet-assed verses. He rips it up between his working-class insights, and 'Alcohol' is better off for it.

Frys went flying, and an orange drink covered his lap

A (good) modern country song's narrative is often so literal, that there isn't much room for "artistic" bullshit in the videos. The lyrics tell you what you gonna see which is why I like them, I don't have time to "figure it out".

One of my favorite examples is this really endearing father-and-son story, "I've Been Watching You" by Rodney Atkins (no relation to bad-ass stud, Trace Adkins). I remember hearing this song on the radio last year and the story resonating with me hard, despite it not really being relate-able. I was pleased to find out that the video does justice to the song and Atkins is really good actor. A lot happens, just in the first verse: car abruptly stops, son spills happy meal in his booster seat, kid says "shit", dad says "whoa whoa, where you learn to talk like that?". Kinda intriguing, right? Where DID he learn to talk like that?


Fuck, I don't get why all the youtube comments are so depressing...maybe I'm mistaken but isn't this an upbeat, feel good song? Youtube comment board is a weird forum to vent about some heavy stuff.

Buffdaddy1403
"this song makes me cry wen i listen to it b/c in Jan.of 07 my dad was in intensive care twice and the doctors said that they didnt know if he was goin to live and they had him on a resporator and he still dont remember anything that happened that month and it was all caused by a blood clot in his jugular vain and it is still there"

suzlbar
"i had a son that watched me and well he went to meet the Lord and i miss him"

God. Fuck. Sad. Nothing funny about those. I like this one though...

Weird0Girl
I love this song!!! The little boy is TOO CUTE!!! It would be awesome to have rondey atkins as my dad, that would be pimpin!!!! It would also be kewl to have the lil boy as my brother

Right on Weirdo Girl!

Wal-Mart parking lots are hella sweet

hello and welcome to Blog For My Horses. i'm Kevin Coster As Wyatt Earp, and you'll be hearing from me from time to time talking about all things amazing about commercial, mainstream country music. the kinda shit that really makes you proud to be a beer drinking, steak eating, wife slappin' 'merican. trust me when i say that there's a fucking GOLD MINE of entertainment out there.

gonna let this video speak for itself though. i don't know who Chris Cagle is, but he's a fucking genius. i'm actually kinda jealous of all his rad memories in a Wal-Mart parking lot to be honest. i don't even know where the closest Wal-Mart is around these parts, but you can bet your ass it's not nearly as sweet as the one Cagle kicked it in during his senior year.

Official Chris Cagle "Wal-Mart Parking Lot" video can be found at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8elXyF9G4M . (Embedding disabled by Capitol Nashville, wtf???)

Chris Cagle dropping this shit live (fan video):


Strange, reflective fan video that kinda weirds me out:

why a country blog.

Let me explain why this blog is devoted to the deepest cuts of contemporary country music.

First of all, if you didn't notice, country music is pretty much the only genre of music left where people are selling CDs and getting famous. Remember Hootie and the Blowfish, the alt-rock favorite? Enter Hootie himself, Darius Rucker, climbing to the top of the country chart with "Don't Think I Don't Think About It". Dude went country and got famous, which is pretty much how it goes these days in the drowning music industry. Also, let's face it, "Only Wanna Be With You" was a lap steel away from a Garth Brooks jam. Just sayin, we're not that surprised.

Although the blog world may be in a jizz-fest over whether or not Wavves are dissolving, pretty much everyone else isn't giving a shit while listening to Kenny Chesney. Country music is both hugely popular, and by all we've seen, weird as fuck. Really, this shit can get weirder than Kool Keith, and we've got the YouTube links to prove it. We're here to document the best and oddest of the tight jeans-wearing, Bud-swillin' world of contemporary country.

So kick it with Darius, and welcome to Blog For My Horses.

Test Post

more to come soon.