- Big star of the night, thus far: Fred Schneider's man-camel toe during the B-52's duet with Sugarland on "Love Shack." Goes to show, a country crowd will go apeshit during a song sung by an aging gay dude, if they know all the words to the song.
- Alan Jackson's blouse. He's not aging as much as slowly becoming genderless.
- Mayonnaise commercials: never seen them before. Thanks, CMT!
- Taylor Swift kiiiinda blew "Love Story" live, although kudos to the high school movie-style transformation out of the hipster glasses.
- Best Group Video: Zac Brown Band, robbed again! Fuck Rascal Flatts, for real.
- Bill O'Reilly: you were in a movie?
- T-Pain and Toby Keith together onstage: can we get an autotuned rendition of "Talk About Me"????
- Trace Adkins: why the fuck AREN'T you singing 'Honkytonk Badonkadonk'? He always busts the slow jams when he thinks he needs to play it straight. I say keep it weird, Trace. Keep it real weird.
- Brad Paisley's taking the quote of the night -- "Guitar Hero never got anyone a date!"
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